theallistongerald
In Bizarre Turn Of Events, Driver of Ford F-150 An Okay Person
BARRIE, ONTARIO—While allegations are unproven in court and all testimonies at this time remain anecdotal, one local man alleges he...
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THE ALLISTON GERALD
theallistongerald
Feb 192 min read
“We Thought They Were Ornamental”: New Residents of Small Town Shocked To Find Train Tracks For Trains
TOTTENHAM, ONTARIO—A growing number of new residents in an Ontario town claim to have been unaware of the occasionally noisy trains...
theallistongerald
Feb 132 min read
Residential Developer Not Sure Whether To Send Ford Valentines Flowers, Chocolates, or Off-Shore Bank Deposit
BEETON—In the gift section of the Beeton Foodland on Tuesday night, sources observed the president and founder of Plateau, a residential...
theallistongerald
Feb 102 min read
Local Trail Now Made Up Entirely Of Dog Poop
BEATTIE PINERY, ALLISTON—Ontario Parks has recently taken steps to replace the mulch on a local walking path with 4,500 tonnes of...
theallistongerald
Feb 42 min read
Town Council and SCDSB Vote To Rebuild Banting Memorial High School In Manitoba
ALLISTON, ONTARIO—After years of deliberation, the Town Council of New Tecumseth and the Simcoe County District School Board have come to...
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