"An Off-Leash Chicken Park Per Town": Backyard-Chickens Lobby Hatching Plans For New Tecumseth

The Alliston Gerald has recently learned of a top-secret lobby preparing to run pro-backyard chicken candidates in the 2026 municipal election. Sources indicate the group is highly organized, politically engaged, and consumes a diet rich in folate, vitamin A and protein.

While the investigation is ongoing, and sources remain anonymous to protect their personal safety, reporters took to social media to better understand how the public feels about the question of backyard chicken. Here's what citizens had to say:

“Cities like Brampton allow backyard chickens. Some people are trying to make us more and more like a city, but let’s not forget why people moved here in the first place. This decision would ruin our small-town, agricultural charm,”—Wendy Flemming on X

“Why’d the chicken cross the road? I’ve got a better question: Who allowed the chicken anywhere near a road within an urban centre? That’s what you can ask these backyard chicken wackos,”—Glenn Marks on Instagram. 

“Tottenham? When these radicals get hold of this town, it’ll be Bockenham. All you’ll hear is that sound’ It’ll be a ‘bock bock’ here. ‘Bock bock’ there. Here a ‘bock’ and even there a ‘bock.’ Pretty much everywhere a ‘bock bock,’”—Marge Constable, a retired daycare worker, on Facebook.

“I kind of like the idea, I won’t have to leave the property to pick up chicks… They’ll walk right over to see my parents’ backyard chicken coop.”—James Driscoll, self-professed Casanova, on Reddit.

“I’m worried about what this could do to the mom-and-pop factory farms. Eggs simply taste better when the chicken’s never seen real sunlight.”—Butch Hamworthy on Threads.

“Personally, I think eggings will go way up because when egg supply rises, the value of an individual egg drops. —Brayden Hall, nineteen-year-old economics major, on TikTok.

“If this lobby has its way, it’ll be an off-leash chicken park per community, First they’ll get in our yards, then it’ll be in our streets. Soon, there’ll be service chickens trained to treat anxiety sitting right beside you on an airplane. You try to stoop to scoop a poop meant for a chicken coop. And just wait for the first mauling.”—Paul Warring on Wordpress.

“Come 2026, let’s ask every single candidate their position. Then, people, please cock-a-doodle-do not vote for the pro-backyard chicken candidates!”—Melissa Reichman on Telegram.

The story is ongoing at this time and the AG is learning many new details by the hour. Citizens are encouraged to comment their personal take on the issue in the comments section below.