Homeowners Who Keep Giant Skeleton On Lawn Year Round Entering Time Of Year When They Look Normal

ALLISTON—Why does a massive skeleton statue remain year-round on its owner's front lawn? Neighbours speculate that the residents of the home have nowhere to store the decoration, while others insist it is a social commentary on the banal sterility and lifelessness of suburbia. In either case, the skeleton is at the point of the year when it draws the fewest glances from passersby. 

"Now that everyone has spooky decorations up, I think they're completely unaware of how normal their lawn is," Philip Porter, a neighbour and lawn-care enthusiast said. "Either that or they’re making a statement about the interplay between what we consider obnoxious and what we consider acceptable folk art, wherein people appreciate or look askance at the same piece depending on the time of year."

Midge Hutchins, a retired bank teller living across the road from the skeleton, pointed out that the best time to sell a house on the street is Halloween. 

"I don't personally mind the skeleton," Hutchins told the Alliston Gerald. "But maybe a prospective buyer would. Maybe they would have had a bad experience in science class where they have those plastic skeletons."

Still others see efforts to create affordable housing as one of the most commendable, creative things that can be done with a twelve-foot skeleton.

When questioned by reporters, neighbours were uncertain whether the skeleton is the Halloween equivalent of year-round Christmas lights or if its owners are matured punk rockers signaling their non-compliance in the only remaining way for law-abiding, time-strapped homeowners.

"I wish we had a better read on them," said one curious neighbour. "But we've never really met. The one thing we know about them is that they own this skeleton and the only thing they know about us is that we don't."