Leaked Trudeau Memo Urges Caution Around April Fools' Day

LORETTO, ONTARIO—A confidential memo from the Trudeau government surfaced Thursday in a rural Ontario hamlet, sources indicate. The memorandum, which quickly circulated online, is said to recommend against the use of the term ‘April Fool’s Day.’

The document has become highly embarrassing for the government which some are accusing of micromanaging the affairs of their office staff and caucus members. 

“We advise exercise extreme caution with regards to the upcoming traditional day,” the memo states. “Gullibility exists on a continuum and we believe that gullible folks should not be publicly shamed for it.”

The email inexplicably landed in the inbox of a retired farmer living in Loretto, Ontario.

When I first saw the memo I thought it was from my doctor,” Phil O’Hearn said. “I called Beverley over to the computer desk and she told me, ‘That’s not from your doctor’s office–it’s from the prime minister!”

It was not immediately clear why O’Hearn, who will soon celebrate his ninetieth birthday, believed the email came from his doctor or how the government erroneously sent the memorandum to him. The prime minister's office requested O’Hearn delete the message, but his wife had already shared it with members of her book club.

It does not forbid employees from engaging with April Fools Day in the traditional way but recommends they use caution while applying a modern, kinder twist. 

“Instead of ‘April Fools’ try saying ‘Gotcha in April!’ after performing your nonviolent joke in good faith. Then, follow with something like 'That would have gotten me, too. Don’t sweat it.’”

The memorandum recommends party members and staff offer a small but earnest apology to soothe any traumatic responses the prankee may be experiencing. 

“It is further recommended that folks have a ‘check-in’ around the April 3rd mark. It could be in the form of a simple question such as ‘How’re we doing with everything?’”

As for the pranks themselves, the memorandum recommends an even blend of lightheartedness and sensitivity. 

“Excellent examples include placing a silly hat on a person’s head or offering a high five only to withdraw the hand and push back one’s hair in a boastful fashion. However, if the person was bald or balding, the hat prank may create the appearance of trying to cover the head and suggest a non-acceptance of their baldness. In such situations, it is better to offer a high five followed by the down-low-too-slow manoeuvre.” 

While many online commentators are beginning to weigh in on the ‘Gotcha In April’ tradition privately suggested in Trudeau's memorandum, Phil O’Hearn, the recipient of the memo, cannot be reached for comment.