Local Community Critical Of School-Age Child's Father's Day Card Containing Bias, Factual Inaccuracies

BARRIE, ONTARIO—A local school-age child has recently come under fire after he brought home a Father’s Day card claiming he had the “bestest dad in the world.” Many in the New Tecumseth region are also saying that the card unrealistically depicts the father as taller than he truly is and having more fingers than he has. 

“The card’s so obviously biased from the start,” one individual posted on X, the app formerly known as Twitter. “You’re naming your own dad the best dad. There are roughly nine million dads in Canada alone and you’re giving the title to someone who lives in your house and is genetically related to you? Sounds fishy.” 

A minority of commentators believe the primary-grade child could be telling the truth. One social media user argues that perhaps the card is the work of a statistical savant with access to a wide range of census data. Maybe there is a case to be made that the child’s dad is, in fact, the best of the best. After all, someone has to be. 

“I’d probably give the title of ‘bestest dad in the world’ to a single father,” Marc Ouellette, a random man on the street, told the Alliston Gerald. “A single dad who also saved his children from a fire or endured some kind of painful sacrifice for them. What has this kid’s dad done besides raising someone to constantly sing his praises?”

Others believe people should give the creator of the card a break, arguing that the child is merely speaking as someone wanting to express affection for a father, and to that child, the best dad in the world is the person who barbecues dinner and reads a bedtime story.

“I don’t buy any of that,” one forty-year-old woman told reporters. “This kid hands down has a complex. Next week he’ll have the best cat in the world, then he’ll eat the best Sloppy Joe in the world. Nothing but the very best will ever be good enough.” 

At the time of publication, a petition had begun circulating that demands that the child amend the card to say, “I have a pretty good dad, all things considered.” The child’s mother has read the petition and promises to deliver it as soon as the child can read more advanced sentences.