THE NITROGEN TAX: How This Prominent Think Tank Recommends Canada Solve 'The Other Man-Made Gas Problem'

SCHOMBERG, ONTARIO—Canadians are reacting to a new proposal from a federal policy research group that advocates for a new tax to supplement, or even replace, the controversial carbon tax. This comes just weeks after the prime minister challenged premiers to come up with a better idea.

The policy proposal outlines a series of recommendations centered around curbing air pollution that is not only made by humans but also comes from them.

“The proposal is to put a levy on flatulence,” Marvin Vander Broek, of Green Horizons Research Group, told reporters. “Nitrogen is the most common chemical found in the air after a person breaks wind, and so we aptly named it 'the Nitrogen Tax'"

Some proponents argue for a contraption placed inside the pants that would act as a kind of meter, measuring all outgoing gasses, but most view this as a fringe position. Supporters of the tax, like Vander Broek, believe in an honour system where the government would send one notepad to every Canadian citizen or permanent resident who would self-report their numbers.

But while an honour system may work in theory, what about in actual practice? The Alliston Gerald spent time finding out what people of Schomberg think of the idea.

“It would be hard at first but I'd get used to it. It should be restricted to adults, though,” Cindy Lopez, a longtime Schomberg resident, said. “Except for my nephews who are both lactose intolerant but eat four chilidogs a piece just to stink up the place.”

Others had more questions than opinions when it came to the nitrogen tax. 

“I like the idea," Beth Hastings, a mother of four, told reporters. "But I’m a little apprehensive about a few things. Like, is someone going to be honest about this when their tuition is due?”

The research group’s recommendations include complex provisions for low-income families, with middle-income earners paying roughly $3.35 per instance if the odour is detectable, and $5 per instance during peak hours, which would be 10 pm until midnight or, for couples, anytime within the first hour of getting into bed. High-income earners and extremely high-income earners would expect to pay anywhere between $30 and $1000 for every proverbial cheese that gets cut.

“It’d be super exciting if this goes through and we finally see some real change,” Angela Mink, a student and activist visiting her parents in Schomberg for reading week, said. “There will be people who change their lifestyle, even their diet.”

As for members of Green Horizons Research Group, they are feeling optimistic about the reception their ideas will have. 

“The carbon tax has won so many prizes in economics and been used by governments across the world,” Matthew Brown, CEO of Green Horizons, said. “We’re expecting something similar here.”

At the time of release, the current government had received the recommendations and was reviewing all options before issuing a statement.