TOUGH TIMES: Suffering Economy Forces Local Man To Downgrade Truck Nuts From Metal To Plastic

EVERETT, ONTARIO-Citing his poor financial situation, Derek Dross has gone public with his decision to remove the bull balls decoration from the back of his truck. According to Dross, he can no longer justify the weight the decoration adds to the cost of gas.

"This is about the most heartbreaking thing I've ever had to do," Dross told the Alliston Gerald in an exclusive interview.

According to Dross, the decision came not only from the price of gas, but the net impact of rising costs of clothing, groceries, and housing. All of this has made it difficult to afford the upkeep of the decoration.

"What people don't understand is that if you want to have bull ball decorations on the back of your truck—and I believe many people do—you have to keep them pristine.

The bare minimum, according to Dross, is to use an Oral-B electric toothbrush to clean off the dirt and mud from the day. He replaces the disposable brushes weekly and every other week he uses a polish that he says is not cheap but is worth every penny.

"I don't even know where to begin when it comes to the plastic ones," he told our reporter. "I'm just not there yet, emotionally speaking."

Dross's family and friends, seeing his dilemma, have suggested he downsize his truck to a smaller model or consider attaching them to a car. His psychotherapist suggested travelling even once or twice a week on public transit, carrying the decoration in hand.

"I tried that last one, actually," Dross said. "It wasn't the same. There's something about carrying bull ball decorations on a bus that makes you look like a weirdo even though everyone knows the same ornament on the back of a truck is a statement."

What the ornament states, according to Dross's psychotherapist, is that the truck is like a bull. Or, in an artful sort of way, maybe it is a bull, and the driver is a rodeo cowboy. Maybe it represents something about humanity's imitation of nature, the interplay between wilderness and domesticity, and the intersection of masculinity and machines.

"I think it brightens the day of all who see it," Dross said. "It brings them back to a simpler, more civil time when men were men, women were women, and trucks had decorative metallic bull balls dangling from the back. I'm not sure if the plastic ones will do that."

Dross understands that he's not the only person whose hobby has taken a hit. It's not lost on him that vacations have been postponed, fishing rods have been repaired when they ought to be replaced, and hats have been worn when a haircut was in order.

'We all have to do what we have to do to survive,' he said, tearfully. "It just feels like I've sold the family farm."