Ontario Government Looking For Creative Ways To Make HWY 401 More Closely Resemble Hell

After tabling a plan to build a section of Highway 401 underground, the Ford government is on the hunt for additional ways in which the highway might remind the public of Hell. 

"It's eighteen lanes of highway, which is already appropriately hellish," Devon L'Usiffier, a consultant hired by the Ford government, told the press. "But now that we're building underground, we want to move toward a more explicit representation of eternal suffering. Here's our vision: You're driving on the highway, stressed out already, you descend into the lower level. There's an accident ahead, so you roll down your windows and come to a stop. You breathe in the fumes of other cars and the dungy smell of water that's made its way down there but never quite dries. It's dark and there's this blinking electric light that lights up—and here's our big idea—a series of murals depicting the suffering of humans? You got it. And the sounds of mosquitos buzzing at your ear play from speakers on the wall. And, finally, as you leave the underground highway, you think, ‘Yes, that was hell.’”

L’Ussifier’s consulting firm also reportedly toyed with the idea of playing ACDC's 'Highway To Hell,' but ultimately felt it didn’t match the aesthetic they had in mind for the tunnel.